Reality

Feels as if I never left this place. Niks house is the same as it was with some exceptions in the shape of stone creations made by his fathers hands..a new one each year is the only thing gossiping that the years are passing. The house itself remains unfinished and unpainted. Every morning, as I go up on the roof to say goodmorning to the sun with the 12 positions of "Greeting to the sun A"..I can't help to picture that the same roof will be our livingroom and kitchen in about a year from now. If everything goes according to plans that is. And in greece, you can't be too sure. The roof veranda is the only part of the "new" house which yet doesn't have walls and ceiling. The rest is intact..and every morning i sneak peak inside and see the finishied interior before me. The master bedroom, the guest room (or children's room as Nik prefers to call it) facing the ocean...The two bathrooms..I see it decorated and done..I'm a dreamer. But until then, we will sontinue living under the same roof as his parents. Which isn't and never has been a problem. My only worry is that I cannot compare to Niks mother, who is the perfect housewife, who always finds something to clean, iron, cook, fold, polish or bake. She never rests that woman. Where as I..these days have given in to the hedonism of tanning on the beach, watching football with the boys, drinking beer and smokin cigarettes. Enjoying some vacations I tell myself,before the reality of working life begins.

She's the kind of woman however who never holds anything against me, she does what she always has done. She goes to work at 6 in the morning, comes home at 15 only to start the night shift in the house. Dinner, laundry and chlorine treatment to "suspect areas". What can I do? I'ts just not in my nature to be what she is. I clean on a schedule. Once a week a big cleaning and a change of bed linen is enough for me. Luckily for her though, ironing is almost the same as meditation to me. At least that I feel I can give her a hand doing.

I think I have changed my mentality about being here. My mind is set to normal instead of something I have to squeeze pleasure out of like squeezing the water out of a wet cloth. The consequence of normal however..is that things are not so amazing as they were..the beach is the beach..the food is just food..normal Greek food..gourme to be the first years..now..even the meat boiled in tomatoe has a dry..chewed on texture.. Don't get me wrong though..It's just my mind switching to "normal mode".. i am accepting the fact that this will be my home for a long time. And who wants to live in a dream all their life? Not me.