familiar but not home
Having stayed two nights in my sisters house after leaving my appartment on saturday..I felt , walking up those stairs from the center to Tågaborg the other day..that It wasn´t home anymore. The old man, my neigbur, was having one of his daily 40 cigarettes on the balcony as I approached. As always, he lifted his hand to say goodbye, but nothing came out of his mouth. He always tries to say Hello ..but most of the time a strange throatbased sound replaces those words.
The yuppies were returning from work with their englixh blood red leather portfolios, the blonde 30 something women drove around the block looking for a spot to park their silvered Peugot convertibles, knowing their own driving abilities and the amount of money their husbands spend on those things, they avoided the narrow pockets...
The doll,as I call her, is a lady in her best years (75 something?) crossed my path this day aswell..dressed in her well matched designer clothes, all dressed up for the poodle walk of the day, strotted down the street smiling at me, showing off teeth spotted with red lipstick..looking at the dog i concluded it had the same facial expression as did the Doll..or was it the Doll that had the dogs? Whatever it was,,they had stayed together for a long time it seemed.The guy rolling dough in the Pizzaplace opposite my house caught me in his eyesight and stayed with me a little too long than I felt comfortable..as he does most days...All these little things I had gotten used to during these months..still existed..but I didn´t. I didn´t exist in the neigbhourhood I had started to like for its calmness and the view from my balcony which showed more than the interiors of my neighbours. Cherry trees and Rhododentron outside my window enablede me to walk around naked in my living room this time of year..
Today, walking to what was home up until Sunday, the steps were heavy. Cleaning out the appartment wasn´t exactly what I have been dreaming of doing these days. But I tuned in a channel playing Rock Classics, put my hair up, slipped myhands into a pair of yellow rubber gloves,,and got on with it.
The yuppies were returning from work with their englixh blood red leather portfolios, the blonde 30 something women drove around the block looking for a spot to park their silvered Peugot convertibles, knowing their own driving abilities and the amount of money their husbands spend on those things, they avoided the narrow pockets...
The doll,as I call her, is a lady in her best years (75 something?) crossed my path this day aswell..dressed in her well matched designer clothes, all dressed up for the poodle walk of the day, strotted down the street smiling at me, showing off teeth spotted with red lipstick..looking at the dog i concluded it had the same facial expression as did the Doll..or was it the Doll that had the dogs? Whatever it was,,they had stayed together for a long time it seemed.The guy rolling dough in the Pizzaplace opposite my house caught me in his eyesight and stayed with me a little too long than I felt comfortable..as he does most days...All these little things I had gotten used to during these months..still existed..but I didn´t. I didn´t exist in the neigbhourhood I had started to like for its calmness and the view from my balcony which showed more than the interiors of my neighbours. Cherry trees and Rhododentron outside my window enablede me to walk around naked in my living room this time of year..
Today, walking to what was home up until Sunday, the steps were heavy. Cleaning out the appartment wasn´t exactly what I have been dreaming of doing these days. But I tuned in a channel playing Rock Classics, put my hair up, slipped myhands into a pair of yellow rubber gloves,,and got on with it.
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