countryside sickness

Oh shit. There must be a god. There must be a GOD. Outside, the world was white today. WHITE. and the sky was blue. SHit the sky was bright bright blue. I walked and i walked with my snowboots on. Spotted by 10 deer..which made me hungry..and made me feel protected..by the shyest animal of the forest..and the proudest and most beautiful. Who the hell are you Mrs. God? or Mr. God or whoever you are. Are you not ashamed to present to me such beauty? now that I just started to like my little shoebox in the city? WIth a balcony. ANd with perfect view into my neigbours Danish designed livingroom. A with two white plastic chairs. on which I love to sit..and watch the people watch TV in the living room. But only for a second or two..a glance..then I get bored..and maybe they think I´m a perve. If they ever found out that is. That I glanced. They glance at me too. Luckily, I am not shy. I leave my curtains open. I have nothing to hide.
Tomorrow, end of days, end of nature experience. I will take the bus back home. I have booked the laundry room. The laundry key is inside a metalbox. I need three keys to get into my laundry room. I feel, I am not completley trusted..